'Half your life you work at becoming famous. And when you do, you hide behind dark glasses!' - Al PacinoAgain, this applies to an unfortunate few. There are certain actors who are very, very shy people. When they start off, they realize they can be extremely confident behind the mask of a character. When they become stars, the fame and popularity compels them to stand before the world as themselves with the same amount of confidence and they are unable to do that because they are so used to a mask! Suddenly when stardom happens, you become greater than the character and everywhere people want to know about you, want more of you. Many times we don't feel that confident and so we don't want to be in that limelight. We want to hide away because we don't consider ourselves as good as what we are in the film...Greek God good looks, perfect emotions, those are actually just a mirage.Even I went through the same thing right after Kaho Naa...Pyaar Hai. But once I accepted that I could never be as good as what I portray on screen, I found a lot of peace within. It's okay not to be as good. The image is one thing and a human being another; it's also very hard to live up to another image. Infact, I would go so far as to say that it's futile. Basically it is very unintelligent if you get mixed up between the persona and the person. Of course it's a trap that a lot of fools fall into as actors.Somewhere this trying to hide away arises from insecurity too. You want to make your fans happy. You want them to be impressed by you and you don't think that the way you are in real life is good enough to you put on an act. You speak with a deeper voice or you start walking with a swagger, a little frown on your forehead just to show what a lot of weight you have on your shoulders because you are a star. I know this because I was doing exactly these things for a while after Kaho Naa...Pyaar Hai's release.One day, I was in Delhi surrounded by fans, signing autographs and playing Raj from the film to the hilt. I had done that character to perfection in my head and it wasn't a tough act. So I was putting on this whole Raj act, talking and signing autographs and being a star when suddenly I saw my parents standing a little ahead, watching me from a distance. I was so embarrassed because I knew that they knew the truth about what and who I really am. I felt so ashamed at that moment. In an instant I just threw my hands up, I drew a breath, sat down and went back to being myself. I started talking like myself, being a fool and not being too hard on myself for allowing myself to be a fool. And things just became so much easier and I started enjoying myself. That was a whole load off my shoulders.
